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Heaven in the Midst of Hell

I don’t have a script ready, an outline or any points I want to discuss in an orderly fashion.  However, I’d still like to share with you on how I personally find a little bit of Heaven in the midst of Hell. No, this does not require medication, sleeping, being unconscious, in a coma or dying. You must be awake and aware.  


So, what do I mean by “heaven in the midst of hell”? First, let’s get through the difficult part: Hell. 


What does "Hell" mean to me? 

Being in a place I feel I don’t belong. 

I feel awkward, out of place, and my presence not needed, and sometimes outright rejected.

Being forced to do something I really don’t want to do. 

Working a job doing something my heart, mind and spirit are not aligned with, just to pay rent. Every day, I have the greatest desire to leave or not show up at all. I realize money is not as important to me as I used to believe it to be. Unfortunately, there’s no other way for me to pay rent or buy food at the moment. I’ve already discussed the length of misery and hatred I have for having a job in a previous blog post.  

Going through depressive episodes 

Suicidal ideation, nihilistic views, feeling of hopelessness and lack of motivation.  

Being tired and exhausted all the time. 

Thanks to my mild anemia, on top of depression which causes fatigue. 

Being unmotivated to do the things I desire to do.  

Creating art, crocheting, making video content, I also have been struggling to write and post these blogs.

Not having the desire to do or enjoy anything at all.  

None of the above, not even play video games, leave my apartment to go anywhere, bathe, clean or complete a chore (do laundry or wash dishes), etc.  


**At this point, I’ve stopped writing the notes for this post at around December 2023. Stress, tiredness and lack of time I've given to myself prevented me from completing my notes until now. I will explain why on another post.  



Now, I'll tell you the little pieces of heaven that makes living another day worthwhile: 

Mindless entertainment 

Watching YouTube videos, playing video games and watching anime. 

However, watching YouTube videos is the only thing that I could do during lunch break. The other activities can only be done at home.  

Taking a moment to enjoy the outdoor space away from your desk. 

Unless there’s a storm, you have no excuse NOT to go outside. Stand at the door or take a little stroll. Enjoy the fresh air and absorb a little sunlight. Several scientific studies have proven that sunlight improves your mental and physical well-being. The vitamin D you take from foods and supplements is the same vitamin you get from the sun!  

A brief chat or phone call from a loved one: friend, family or significant other. 

Studies also tells us that healthy relationships with others can lengthen our time on earth by 1.5 years per decade, give or take. (1)

Treat yourself that one meal or snack you’ve been thinking about.  

If you’re on a so-called “diet”, just forget it for just 30 minutes. You won’t fall off the wagon if you treat yourself every once in a while as long as you get back to your regular food-exercise routine. You also deserve it for being on survival mode for so long. Go ahead and just treat yourself just to boost your mood up. Worry about the consequences later. It’s so worth it.  

Last but not least, MAKE TIME to enjoy your piece of heaven. You owe this to yourself.  


I said all this to say, if you want to get out of the hell that you’re in, you have to be willing to find ways to get out of it! But it will take some time. For now, make sure you sustain your sanity by enjoying a piece of heaven in the midst of hell.  

Thank you for reading.



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